Cry Me A Damn River

The AP is running an article about Yankees fans feeling sorry for themselves following their team's epic collapse:

``I don't understand,'' said Alex Afriyie, 30, a parking lot attendant working on the painful morning after. ``They were on the top, and now they're on the bottom. This is very bad.''

``I couldn't sleep,'' said Larry McCants, taking a break outside his job near Madison Square Garden. ``I kept waking up. It's a tough loss. I didn't think we'd let the Red Sox come into Yankee Stadium and make history.''

To them, I only have this to say:

Awwwwwwwww...

I mean, cry me a goddamn river. Your team hasn't won the world series in four whole years. May as well just disband the franchise now, eh? Spare me! First off, the Yankees are not now "on the bottom." Try talking to Brewers fans (like me), or Royals fans, or Pirates fans, or worst yet, Expos fans, who know when each season begins that they have no legitimate shot at the title. That's what being on the bottom feels like. You damned fair-weather Yankee fans wouldn't know what it's like to have to root for a bad team.

``I'll never give up on the Yankees,'' said Tony Garcia, 35, as he bought his morning coffee. ``I'm a die-hard fan.''

Wow, buddy, it's good to know that your faith wasn't shaken by your team falling one game short of the World Series. Until your team spends two decades losing far more games than it wins, and until you go a solid decade without even a single winning season, shut your damn hole.

Not that I'm bitter, or anything... ;)