Bring Back the Hockey! PLEASE!

Sure, there are a lot of reasons I miss hockey, but one of the biggest? My Yahoo! NHL News Feed keeps giving me these stupid "Avalanche Moments" -- key moments in recent Colorado Avalanche history. Now I don't harbor the kind of visceral hatred for the Avalanche that my sister -- a devoted Red Wings fan -- keeps in her bowels at all times. But the truth is I don't give two shits about the Avalanche.

And it's not like they're also giving us "Maple Leafs Moments" (my team) or "Blackhawks Moments" (Kevin's team). Nope. Just the Avalanche. I don't care much about the Avalanche when they're playing, so what makes them think I'd care about them now? Claude Lemiuex started a fight two years ago -- big furry deal! Why do I want to relive that?

If there's nothing to report, just admit it, already! Until then, shut up about the Avalanche, before I discover what my sister's hatred is really all about!

/rant

Cry Me A Damn River

The AP is running an article about Yankees fans feeling sorry for themselves following their team's epic collapse:

``I don't understand,'' said Alex Afriyie, 30, a parking lot attendant working on the painful morning after. ``They were on the top, and now they're on the bottom. This is very bad.''

``I couldn't sleep,'' said Larry McCants, taking a break outside his job near Madison Square Garden. ``I kept waking up. It's a tough loss. I didn't think we'd let the Red Sox come into Yankee Stadium and make history.''

To them, I only have this to say:

Awwwwwwwww...

I mean, cry me a goddamn river. Your team hasn't won the world series in four whole years. May as well just disband the franchise now, eh? Spare me! First off, the Yankees are not now "on the bottom." Try talking to Brewers fans (like me), or Royals fans, or Pirates fans, or worst yet, Expos fans, who know when each season begins that they have no legitimate shot at the title. That's what being on the bottom feels like. You damned fair-weather Yankee fans wouldn't know what it's like to have to root for a bad team.

``I'll never give up on the Yankees,'' said Tony Garcia, 35, as he bought his morning coffee. ``I'm a die-hard fan.''

Wow, buddy, it's good to know that your faith wasn't shaken by your team falling one game short of the World Series. Until your team spends two decades losing far more games than it wins, and until you go a solid decade without even a single winning season, shut your damn hole.

Not that I'm bitter, or anything... ;)

NCAAF: Polling Injustice

This is about right:

News flash for voters in the AP and coaches polls: Tennessee beat Georgia last week. In Athens. Maintained the upper hand from the outset.

Nonetheless, both polls somehow kept the Vols behind UGa this week. The coaches were particularly conspicuous, ranking the Dawgs six spots in front.

What, did they use a butterfly ballot?

Remember, these people now are entrusted with two-thirds of the system that determines the national-title game.

Unbeaten Auburn handed Tennessee its lone setback. The Vols handed Georgia its lone loss.

That makes the SEC pecking order Auburn, Tennessee, Georgia. It doesn't get any clearer.

I'm primarliy a Wisconsin/Big Ten fan, but the SEC (and Tennessee in particular -- long story) is my next conference of choice, because in any given year in those conferences, there's almost always competition. There are usually at least three or four schools with a legitimate shot at the title, and just about any team can beat any other team in a given week (more true of the Big Ten than the SEC). But the idea that Tennessee, a one-loss team, is ranked behind another one-loss team that Tennessee defeated in Athens is silly to me.

College football this week...

SEC:
Arkansas at Florida: toss up; go with the home team Gators.

Miss. St. at Vandy: can they both lose?

S. Carolina at Alabama: Shula needs this win, or the storm clouds will begin to gather.... unfair, but true. Visitors must LOVE to play in Tuscaloosa, Bama can usually be counted on for weird 4th quarter breakdowns.

LSU at Georgia: take GA at home says the conventional wisdom; right, the Bulldogs are headed for a fall, though... but I'm thinking not quite yet, barring an LSU surprise.

Auburn at Tennessee: biggest test of the season for Auburn -- and they have clutched in the past in Knoxville. But that's why I expect them to be really motivated this time; Tennessee has to play near-perfect to win, and/or have Auburn help them out a bit. Expect the kicking game to make the difference (I predict Auburn by 3).

Top 25 comments:

Watch Texas Tech vs. Oklahoma Saturday. This might finally be the Red Raiders' day.

And God help us all if Notre Dame beats 5th-ranked Purdue -- they'll start getting #1 votes.

Quote of the Week

Virginia senior Marquis Weeks, on his 100-yard kickoff return for a touchdown against North Carolina: "That was just instinct. Kind of like running from the cops."

SEC preview: week 4

Auburn's drivin' the bus right now. Everyone better stay in their seats...! But we're just getting started. And the Auburn fans, in spite of comments like "great team win" after beating LSU, still are dogged by "(QB Jason) Campbell is still the weak link..." ideas -- any truth to the rumor there's racism in the state of Alabama?

I don't have the "shocker" of the week yet. I can pick these on occasion, but it doesn't work if I try too hard, or being especially superstitious since I've never tried it -- if I wager any money.

But I'd love to see Troy upset South Carolina. That would be cool.

Ole Miss might very well lose to Wyoming -- no big surprise. Other than that, the favorites/home teams should all fare well this week.

Elsewhere in Division I-A, now that we accurately predicted LSU's fall, Top 10 teams living on borrowed time:

Georgia (Oct. 2 vs. LSU, Oct. 9 vs. Tennessee)
W. Virginia (Oct. 2 vs. Virginia Tech)
Ohio State (can't say when yet, but it's coming)
California (Oct. 9 vs. USC)

Show Me the Mon -- oh SHUT UP!

In the wake of Hurricane Ivan's devastation in south Alabama and northwest Florida, Auburn & Alabama both went on with their games.

I understand not disrupting the schedule unless absolutely necessary: coaches already have game plans in; they'd rather not add a game to their stretch run; and so on. Auburn's athletic office actually tried to downplay their decision by saying "oh, the Governor's emergency office said it was okay..." The Montgomery Advertiser reported the Gov's office as saying that nobody from Auburn called. Hmmmmm.

The money was the story; no need to sugarcoat it. We're talking big bidness y'all. Too much to be gained from playing to let a little catastrophe interrupt things.

Troy Trojans Lose; Apocalypse Postponed

Troy lost to N. Mexico State in what was apparently a closer game than some expected. Fear that the end was nigh struck some observers after Troy's defeat of first Marshall, then ranked Missouri. But this week, no heavenly trumpets sounded, no fifth horsemen rode, or anything.

But the South Carolina game should still be a good one to watch. Expect it to be the story of the week, should Troy win.

Thanks to lazarus, Kevin, and tgirsch for inviting me along. I'm Jeff. I won't hesitate to go out on a limb with an opinion, but we'll keep it to just sports here.